It seems like everyone is throwing their hat into the ring these days, so it’s not a question of not having enough people running for President; it’s more of a question of are the people running for the office really the best candidates. So we spice up the race with these whimsical suggestions as a new field of candidates... for the fun of it!
Actor Ron Perlman -- Hell Boy/Beast (of Beauty & the Beast) -- Now here’s a guy that can handle just about any situation. Imagine what a diplomat this guy could be! We could bring home the troops and just let the new Prez handle the problems in the Middle East - single handedly. True -- he may not be much to look at and his televised press conferences might actually have a smaller audience than President Bush’s. But heck, who else could scare the devil out of the enemy with such flair? Since a good portion of the world calls Bush “Satan”, why not give ‘em a taste of the real deal? Anyway, unlike Governor Schwarznegger, Perlman is a red, white and blue American born and bred hero of the big screen from New York City. All in favor of Ron Perlman say “Boo!”
Actress Angelina Jolie - better known as Lara Croft -- Don’t you think we need a real Tomb Raider in the White House? Think about it -- how could Osama Bin Laden feel safe and comfortable in his cavern hide out if he knew Lara Croft was after his hidden jewels? And besides, Lara has as many fans in Africa as Bin Laden has followers, making for a sort of Mexican stand off. And if Angie were to make it to the White House, we would get the added benefit of having the best looking First Lady ever! Well - Brad is an actor. He could pull it off, right? Of course, with Angie’s liberal adoption policy we may have to add a couple of bedrooms and a guest house as an extra wing to the White House. And instead of raising taxes, maybe Angie could do a special White House calendar every year! Think about it!
Actor Fred Thompson -- Now here’s a guy that can play a role! Dashing Tennessee actor Fred Thompson has played an Admiral (Hunt for Red October), Ulysses Grant, a lobbyist, a U.S. Senator -- wait a minute. That wasn’t acting was it? Well - you get the picture. If this actor were to run for President he could get both the support of die hard conservatives and liberal Hollywood actors and movie makers who traditionally go the other way. And with his charm and superb acting ability, there’s little doubt Thompson could make a mark in all the presidential polls that get thrown around before election day.
Hey -- wait a minute! He’s already leading the field in the presidential polls, or running a close second to former New York Mayor Rudolf the Red Nose Giuliana. Come to think about it, Fred Thompson is now an official candidate for the office of the President. Just ask Jay Leno! So -- Never mind!
Actor Eddie Murphy -- All joking aside, Eddie Murphy’s command of make up and costuming would add a lot of diversity to the White House Staff. Heck - he could play his own Press Secretary, his own Chief of Staff and his own First Lady - and no one would ever know. Wait -- maybe the First Lady issue is still up in the air. But you get the picture. He’s the only guy on the planet that can play the good cop, bad cop role and get away with it, so it couldn’t be a bad thing to use all those personalities in a White House role.
Besides, he could stage his national press conferences each Saturday evening and call them “The Return of Saturday Night Live”. Well, maybe not. But he’s probably the only guy that could raise taxes and make us laugh!
Comedian George Lopez --
Now before you start laughing, imagine what kind of monologue George could put together before addressing the nation in a televised press conference! And how could foreign diplomats keep a straight face when George talks about life in the White House and the American Dream where every citizen can get their own prime time TV show. Oops! Sorry George - the show has been cancelled. But that’s just another reason to make a run for the Executive Office! It beats watching you own reruns. Hooray for George in 2008!